Who Watches the Watchmen? Apparently Not the Thunderbolts

Two Iconic Teams Face Off

This week’s episode of the Dynamic Duel Podcast featured a team duel between DC’s Watchmen and Marvel’s Thunderbolts. Inspired by the upcoming Thunderbolts film, the Marvel roster was comprised of Winter Soldier, Taskmaster, Ghost, U.S. Agent, White Widow, Red Guardian, and powerhouse Sentry. Meanwhile, the Watchmen team included Comedian, Rorschach, Silk Spectre, Nite Owl, Ozymandias, Hooded Justice, and of course, the near-omnipotent Dr. Manhattan.

Stat-Based Simulations Settle the Debate

The duel was decided using Dynamic Duel’s Monte Carlo simulator, AJ9K, which ran 49,000 individual battles using a robust set of stats derived from the Marvel power grid and extrapolated for DC characters. The simulations factored in categories like strength, speed, durability, perception, range, and more. While Dr. Manhattan dominated with an individual win rate of 97.8%, the rest of the Watchmen team lagged significantly behind the Thunderbolts' lineup in most categories.

Match Speculation Gets Wild

Before revealing the simulation results, Johnny DC and Marvelous Joe walked listeners through a speculative play-by-play of how one battle might unfold. This imaginative breakdown featured everything from Rorschach using broken glass as a weapon to the Thunderbolts hurling multiple shields at Hooded Justice. The absurdity peaked when Dr. Manhattan split into three to vaporize half of the Thunderbolts, only for Sentry’s void persona to retaliate and cause a nuclear-level event. In a last-ditch effort, Ozymandias even summoned a psychic squid bomb—bringing full Watchmen energy to the chaos.

Fans Love the Watchmen, but Stats Favor Marvel

Listeners polled on Instagram heavily favored the Watchmen, with 69% voting for them to win. Despite this support and Dr. Manhattan’s overwhelming power, the Thunderbolts pulled through in the simulations thanks to their superior team synergy, evasiveness, and versatility. Characters like Ghost, US Agent, and Taskmaster held their own, and Sentry’s raw power helped tip the scales. The final result: Thunderbolts won 57% of matches compared to the Watchmen’s 43%.

Next Up: Thunderbolts Movie Review

With the Thunderbolts film premiering this week, the hosts will review the movie in their next episode. They’re already speculating about surprises hinted at in the marketing, including a mysterious asterisk in the film’s title. Until then, listeners can enjoy this latest crossover duel and revisit previous episodes like “Dr. Manhattan vs. Molecule Man” or “Baron Zemo vs. Joker” to learn more about the characters involved.

Listen to the full episode here: Watchmen vs. Thunderbolts.