Legion of Super-Pets vs Pet Avengers

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This is a DynaMic Network Podcast. Hi, welcome to
the DynaMic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we

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review superhero films and debate the
superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing

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their characters in stat-based battle
simulations. I'm Johnny DC. And I'm his twin

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brother, Marvelous Joe. And there are only four
episodes left of the weekly show of DynaMic Duel

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after this one, which will be a team duel, our final
Christmas duel in which we're going all out by

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pitting the Legion of Super-Pets against the Pet
Avengers. It is the pet duel to end all pet duels.

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Yeah, typically, for the most part, around
Christmas time, the show does a silly animal duel

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and this is like the ultimate version of that.
Yeah, I think there were only two years where we

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didn't do like pet heroes. That was Alfred versus
Jarvis and Keelix versus Herbie. But those are

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like robot pets. Yeah, exactly. It still counts.
But we're going to tell you about each team's

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backstories before running the stats and finding
out which team would win before that we're not

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going to break down the comic book movie news
because we're recording this episode early and

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there isn't any yet. Yeah, we're recording it
early due to the upcoming holiday break. This

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episode will drop just a few days before
Christmas, so we just want to wish everyone a happy

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holiday. As always, we list our segment times in
our episode description, so feel free to check out

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the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a
particular topic. Our artificially intelligent

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duel simulator, AJ9K, has a quick message for our
listeners, so listen up. Hello, these are the

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final episodes of Dynamic Jules Weekly podcast,
leading up to our grand finale on January 20th. We

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hope you've enjoyed the past 10 years of Marvel and
DC duels and reviews, and we'd love for you to stick

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with us as we count down these last episodes. We're
inviting you, the listener, to help us close out

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the show by visiting dynamicduel.com over the
next few weeks and clicking the red microphone

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button in the bottom right corner to leave us a
voicemail that we'll play during the final

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episode. Tell us what first got you into DC or
Marvel, how long you've been listening, a

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favorite episode or moment, or anything else you
want to share about what the podcast has meant to

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you. Your messages will be aired and responded to
on the January 20th finale. Again, head to

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dynamicduel.com and leave your final message. We
would love to hear from you. Pip Pip Cheerio.

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Thanks AJ9K, and thanks to everyone who takes the
time to call in and leave a parting voicemail. Be

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sure to tune into the other shows on the Dynamite
Podcast Network this week, including the Konsole

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Kombat podcast, where hosts John and Dean
simulate battles between popular video game

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characters. In yesterday's episode, they found
out who'd win between Pac-Man and Yoshi. Over on

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the Max Destruction podcast, hosts Scotty and
Gilly pet your favorite action heroes from film

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and television against each other. On Wednesday,
the Macho Twins are learning who would win in a

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fight between Santa Claus from Violence Night and
Krampus. That's going to be a really good one. I'm

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looking forward to that one. On the Senjoh World
podcast, hosts Zachary Hepburn speculates on

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fights between fan favorite anime and manga
characters. In his next episode, Zach's

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revealing who'd win between Shigyo Kageyama, aka
Mob from Mob Psycho 100, and Tatsumaki the tornado

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of terror from One Punch Man. Visit
dynamicpodcasts.com or click the link in our show

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notes to listen to all of the shows in the DynaMic
Podcast Network. And now that that's done, quick

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to the main event! Alright, now let's find out who
is going to win in the ultimate pet team duel

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matchup of the Legion of Super Pets against the pet
Avengers. Okay, the Legion of Super Pets versus

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the pet Avengers. Of course, you may also know the
Legion of Super Pets as the League of Super Pets

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because they had a film with that title a few years
ago. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, they weren't

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called the Legion, they were called the League.
I'm assuming to tie them into the Justice League.

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Why are they called the Legion of Super Pets in the
comics? Because the Legion of Super Heroes were

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the ones that assembled the team initially. Oh,
oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, the pet Avengers

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have not had their own movie, nor is one slated, but
a few of the people on my roster have appeared in

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films, including Throg. He was like an Easter egg
in the Loki show. Lockjaw, of course, was in the

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God-awful in humans television series. Lockheed
played a really cool part in the New Mutants movie.

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Oh, that's right. And of course, Cosmo was in the
Guardians of the Galaxy film, the third one. And I

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guess Cosmo has been the most prominent pet
Avenger on your team in terms of like on-screen

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media. Right. So not a bad showing for the pet
Avengers. I did really like the League of Super

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Pets movie that they put out, though. I liked it
more than I wanted to. We reviewed that film a

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couple of years ago. Well, the Super Pets have also
had a cartoon starring Krypto and Ace. So they're

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just better, like all around, you know? Everyone
knows them. They're really popular, really cool.

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It's so sad that most of them are going to be going
over the Rainbow Bridge in the course of this

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upcoming fight. Throg is going to send them there
using the Bifrost. I should probably save that for

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the speculation. Yeah, what are you doing? Now I
know your plan. But speaking of the speculation,

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first to explain the methodology behind our
duels, let's go to our sentient dual simulator,

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Alfred Jarvis, 9000. AJ9K tell our listeners how
you go about determining a winner in our dual

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matchups. Yes, of course, sir. The way I determine
a winner between the two teams is by running 1,000

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Monte Carlo simulations between every character
on each team using their statistics. A Monte Carlo

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simulation is a probabilistic model used to
determine outcomes through random sampling. In

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this case, I randomize the statistics along a
normal distribution as a way to simulate the many

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variables that can occur during battle. The stat
parameters are based on the official Marvel power

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grid, from which the DC characters statistics are
extrapolated. Additional stat categories are

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included such as range, damage potential,
versatility and perception in order to create a

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more detailed and accurate simulation. The
results of the 49,000 simulations provide a

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percentage of wins for each character on both
teams. The team with the higher average win rate is

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declared the victor as they have a higher
probability to win any given battle. In an

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equitable pairing, neither team should win 100%
of the matches. The comic book stories have shown

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that there's even a way for Batman to defeat
Superman, so the confidence rate of my method

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falls in line with the precedents that have been
established in the source material. My

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mathematical simulations are without
subjectivity or bias. Feats are not the sole

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consideration, nor are fan votes tabulated for
determination of the winner. Thanks, AJ9K.

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Before we run the simulations, though, we like to
break down each team's histories and rosters

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before improvising a scenario on how we imagine
one of the thousands of simulations would play

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out, beat for beat. And it is my turn to go first with
the DC team's backstory. So let me tell you all

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about the Legion of Superpets. During a temporal
crisis involving the alien brain globes, the

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Legion of Super Heroes, who you can learn more
about in their team duel against the new mutants,

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determined that the beings were attempting to
influence Earth's past through indirect

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temporal interference using the pets of high
profile historical figures to counter the threat

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without destabilizing the timeline. The Legion
selected super powered animals whose senses and

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instincts could track and counter the threat with
minimal disruption. Under the coordination of

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Brainiac five with Saturn girl providing
telepathic oversight and communication,

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several animals were gathered from different
points in history and brought to the 30th century

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operating together for the first time. Krypto the
super dog, Strixie the super cat, Beppo the super

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monkey and Comet the super horse confronted the
brain globes, disrupting and neutralizing their

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influence on the timeline. Following the
mission, Saturn girl formally designated the

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animals as the Legion of Superpets with chameleon
boys, shape shifting pet, Prody the second

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joining the team before the animals were
eventually returned to their respective eras.

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Following the multiverses collapse after the
crisis on infinite Earth's, the Legion of

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Superpets did not operate as an active team,
though various super pets continue to appear

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alongside their individual allies pets such as
Krypto and Ace the bat hound operated as

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supporting characters as did Wonder Romans pet
Jumper, one of the battle trained Kangas raised on

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Themyscira. Kangas sometimes referred to as sky
Kangas were bred by the Amazon's for

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extraordinary leaping ability and long distance
traversal capable of crossing oceans, hostile

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terrain, planetary bodies and even mythic
boundaries in a single bound. Jumper formed a bond

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with Wonder Roman and served as her mount during
multiple engagements, particularly in

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conflicts involving mythological threats.
Jumper accompanied Wonder Roman both on and

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beyond Themyscira and soil, participating in
confrontations with hostile forces and

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assisting during expeditions that required
mobility and resilience beyond conventional

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transport. Like the invisible jet, another
prominent pets amongst DC's most well known

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champions was Toppo, an unusually intelligent
octopus native to the seas of Atlantis. After

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entering the service of Aquaman, Toppo became
involved in numerous undersea operations,

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particularly those requiring infiltration,
sabotage or interaction with Atlantean and

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surface world technology. His dexterity and
problem solving ability allowed him to

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manipulate machinery, disable control systems
and operate complex equipment despite lacking

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humanoid form. For a time, he was depicted as a
colossal undersea monster known as a Kraken, but

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was later reverted back to being an octopus in
continuity. A variation on the Superpet team

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concept did appear in far future continuity
during the events of the 853rd century. In that

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era, animal based teams such as the Justice Legion
of Super Zoomorphs and the Legion of Super

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Familiars operated alongside the Justice Legion
A, a future incarnation of the Justice League.

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After the Flashpoint event reset DC's continuity
past and future, Krypto was alerted to a situation

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involving a rash of dog nappings across Gotham.
Enlisting Titus on his mission to rescue the dogs,

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Krypto went to Detective Chimp for help who
recounted the Legion of Superpet's last mission

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in which Clay faces pets. The shapeshifting Clay
Critter died during a battle at Gotham Zoo with

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various villainous pets such as Dexter, the Red
Lantern and Harley Quinn's hyenas, Bud and Lou.

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Streekey the Supercat evidently blamed Krypto
for Critter's death and initially refused to help

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Krypto on the new mission to save the kidnapped
dogs. Joined by Flexi, Plastic Man's elastic

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parrot, the trio tracked down the dogs and their
abductor, a green-skinned alien who was

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attempting to free Earth's pets from their human
masters. When Streekey brought Batcow to the

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fray, the team was able to trap the alien and
deliver the missing dogs to Wayne Manor, forcing

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Robin and Superboy to find their owners. Later,
after Batman was captured during a mission, Ace

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the Bathound was taken and imprisoned alongside
other animals for experimentation, including a

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trained grizzly bear, a pickpocketing squirrel,
a cybernetically enhanced chicken and an

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unusually fast tortoise. After escaping
confinement, the team tracked down and rescued

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Batman from the Joker and his underground fight
club. Though the chicken was killed during the

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mission, the other animals survived, living on
the Wayne Manor estate, though Batman gave the

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tortoise to the flash. Recently, Ace and Krypto
attempted to recruit Nightwing's three-legged

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dog Haley, aka Bitewing, into the Legion of
Superpets on a mission to rescue Streekey from an

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orbital satellite owned by Menagerie Man, who had
been abducting animals to form a private army.

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Alongside Jumper the Kanga, Badge the Squirrel,
Gleek the Wonder Monkey, and Batcow, the Cow,

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Bitewing found Streekey in the Menagerie, while
also managing to help free other super pets such as

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Flexi, Wonder Dog, Toppo, Dexter, Bud and Lou,
Beppo the Super Monkey, and some Staro drones,

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among others. After Menagerie Man's defeat, the
Legion returned to Earth to help the abducted

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animals find homes, though Haley declined to
become an official member of the team. And that's

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the Legion of Superpets backstory. Now, for my
seven-member roster for the Legion of Superpets,

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I'm going with Krypto, Superman's Dog, who
possesses all of his powers and is a

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representative of the original team, which was
comprised entirely of Superman's pets. I'm also

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including Ace the Bat Hound, Batman's highly
trained canine operative, Jumper, Wonder Romans

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the Moskeren Kanga, with exceptional strength
and leaping power, Badge the Green Lantern, the

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Squirrel-like alien protector of Sector 1014,
and successor to Chip, who we had to duel with

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against Rocket Raccoon. I'm also including
Toppo, Aquaman's highly intelligent and

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stealthy octopus friend, the terrific What's It,
a durable tortoise with super speed like the

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Flash, and finally, Flexi, a parrot with Plastic
Man's shapeshifting powers, though it's unclear

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as to whether he's an actual parrot or a piece of
Plastic Man that thinks it is. That's hilarious.

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We forgot to mention earlier when we were talking
about the pets' cinematic appearances that Toppo

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played a sizable role in the Aquaman The Lost
Kingdom movie. Right, that's correct. Although

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in that movie, his name wasn't Toppo. Toppo was the
task force that he was a part of. OK, he was pretty

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cool, though. I am surprised to learn that Robot
Chicken used to be a member of the Legion of

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Superpets. Yeah, I think it was supposed to be a
cyborg analog. The superhero cyborg from the

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time. Yes, yes. Yeah. OK, so his pet is Robot
Chicken. Interesting. It makes sense, though,

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because Robot Chicken is owned by Cartoon
Network, which is owned by WB, which also owns DC.

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DC has such a vast universe of pet characters, like
almost every hero in DC Comics has some kind of

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animal analog that exists in their pet universe.
Yeah, almost. Yeah, it's much larger than

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Marvel's. But that's a good thing. We don't want to
make DC's larger than Marvel in general, my guy. I

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don't think so. I don't know about that. I'm pretty
sure they're about the same. I'm talking about

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endowment wise. You're stupid. Let me go ahead and
get into the backstory of the pet Avengers. The

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story of the pet Avengers begins with Lockjaw, who
is the genetically altered dog of the inhuman

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royal family created through experimental
terror genesis and bonded to the ruling house of

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Aegon, possessing the innate ability to teleport
himself and others across vast distances over

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Earth and space. Lockjaw became indispensable to
the inhumans as both transportation and

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protector. Over years spent moving the inhuman
royal family through political upheavals,

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exiles and interstellar conflicts. Lockjaw
developed a reputation for intelligence and

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judgment that went far beyond instinctive
obedience. You can learn more about the inhumans

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and their duel against the Wildcats. The chain of
events that let the formation of the pet Avengers

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begin when Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four
arrived in Adalan, the inhuman city located in the

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blue area of the moon. Mr. Fantastic sought Black
Bolt's cooperation in locating the Infinity

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Gems, which were six ancient cosmic artifacts
tied to the fundamental aspects of existence that

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had begun resurfacing throughout the universe.
Unknown to Mr. Fantastic and most of the inhuman

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court, Lockjaw had already encountered one of the
gems. Hidden within Adalan itself, the Mind Gem

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had come into Lockjaw's possession, enhancing
his intelligence and granting him telepathic

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abilities. Through contact with the Mind Gem,
Lockjaw became aware not only of the existence of

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the other gems, but of the catastrophic danger
posed if they were gathered by a single wielder. By

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then reading Mr. Fantastic's Slots, Lockjaw
learned of Thanos and his past dominion over the

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gems. Rather than alerting Earth's heroes or the
inhumans, Lockjaw acted on the belief that a

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quieter, less visible approach stood a better
chance of success. Using his teleportation

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abilities, he set out to locate the remaining gems
himself, choosing allies who would not draw

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attention. Lockjaw's first recruits were
animals already connected to heroes and

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accustomed to danger. His first recruit was
Throg, the Frog of Thunder, who wielded a fragment

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of Thor's enchanted hammer, Mjolnir, that
granted him powers proportionate to the God of

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Thunder. Throg was once Simon Walterson, a
grieving human cursed into Frog form after

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failing to pay a fortune teller. Living as the Frog
Puttlegub in Central Park, he became a warrior in a

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long-running war between frogs and rats. During
one of Loki's schemes, Thor himself was

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transformed into a frog and crossed paths with
Puttlegub, helping end the war. When Thor returns

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to Asgard, a shard of Mjolnir was left behind.
Puttlegub proved worthy enough to lift it,

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transforming into Throg. Lockjaw's next recruit
was Lockheed, the small but formidable alien

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dragon who brought a long history of interstellar
combat experience and loyalty forged through his

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bond with the X-Man Kitty Pride. Lockheed
originated as a warrior from a dragon-like alien

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species known as the Flock. Renowned for fighting
the parasitic Brood aliens, Lockheed left his

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people behind after saving Kitty Pride and
followed her to Earth. You can learn more about

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Kitty Pride in our Gypsy vs Shadowcat dual
episode. Next on the team was Niels, a cat who was

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exposed to extra dimensional energy alongside
his owner, Speedball, of the new warriors. Niels

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took on the codename Hairball after developing
the ability to form a kinetic field around himself

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that redirects and amplifies all force and energy
exerted against him. You can learn more about

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Speedball and the new warriors in their
respective duels against Wally West the Flash and

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Infinity Inc. Redwing, who is Falcon's trained
bird and Ms. Lion and Maze Dog, completed

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Lockjaw's initial group. Their search for the
gems led first to the Savageland, an isolated

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prehistoric preserve hidden in Antarctica.
There the group encountered Zabu, the Sabertooth

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Tiger companion of the Jungle Lord Khazar. Zabu
was born in the Savageland, orphaned when man apes

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killed his family. Raised among wolves before
striking out alone, Zabu eventually saved the

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life of a young man named Kevin Plunder, forming a
bond that would shape Kevin into the Jungle leader

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Khazar. Exposure to the gases of the Place of Mists
slowed Zabu's aging and granted him near human

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intelligence. You can learn more about the
Savageland in our Parasite vs Sauron dual

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episode. Zabu aided the group in locating the Time
Gem and joined their journey. From the

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Savageland, Lockjaw transported the animals to
prehistoric Earth, where they recovered the

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Space Gem after an encounter with Devil Dinosaur,
whom you can learn more about in his duo alongside

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Moongirl against Dorothy Spinner. Continuing
their pursuit, the group traveled beneath the

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Atlantic Ocean, where they were swallowed by the
massive creature Giganto. Inside the beast, they

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discovered both the Soul Gem and the Reality Gem
before escaping. The final Gem, the Power Gem, was

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located at the White House, attached to the collar
of the President's dog. As the animals converged

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on their last objective, Thanos arrived, having
tracked the same cosmic energies. When the

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animals refused to surrender their gems, Thanos
attacked and killed Miss Lion. In a moment of panic

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and grief, Hairball instinctively used the Soul
Gem to resurrect her. Acting together, the

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animals combined the power of the Infinity Gems
and under Lockjaw's direction defeated Thanos

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and trapped him in another dimension. With the
team victorious, Miss Lion named the group the Pet

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Avengers. Before returning the Gems, Lockjaw
used the Mind Gem to establish a psychic link

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between the animals, ensuring they could find one
another again if needed. Though the Pet Avengers

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initially separated, the psychic bond
eventually drew them back together. When Throg

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vanished while searching for meaning beyond
Central Park, the group reunited and traveled to

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the Himalayas, becoming entangled in a conflict
within the dream realm. There, they confronted

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creatures unleashed by the Fallen One and worked
to return displaced mythical beings to their

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homes. Later, when Thor, Captain America, and
Iron Man were transformed into frogs by the dragon

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Fin-Fink Fooom, Thor sent a telepathic distress
call that reached Throg. The Pet Avengers

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responded, eventually aiding Fin-Fink Fooom,
when they learned his actions were meant to

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protect endangered dragon eggs. Their
intervention briefly placed them at odds with the

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Avengers, but the conflict ended peacefully. You
can learn more about Fin-Fink Fooom in his duel

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against Star-O, the Conqueror. In recognition of
their actions, the Avengers constructed the Pet

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Avengers Mansion to serve as the team's
headquarters. That's the Pet Avengers backstory

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for the seven-member team duel. I'm including
some famous pet and animal characters from

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outside the comic Pet Avengers roster, that
better pair up against your Legion of Super Pets.

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So in addition to Lockjaw, Throg, Lockheed,
Hairball, and Zabu, I'm also including Cosmo the

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Space Dog and Jeff the Land Shark. Now Cosmo the
Space Dog has already had a duel against Dexstar,

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the Red Lantern. Cosmo began as an Earth dog
launched into orbit by the Soviet space program.

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An exposure to cosmic radiation granted him
telepathy, telekinesis, heightened

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intelligence, and extended life. Lost in space,
Cosmo eventually became Chief of Security on

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Nowhere, which is a space station formed from the
severed head of a celestial, and Cosmo operated as

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a cosmic defender and ally to the Guardians of the
Galaxy, whom you can learn more about in their duel

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against the Doom Patrol. Jeff the Land Shark is a
fan favorite and a personal favorite. He's new to

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this podcast. He's actually the pet of Gwenpool
and formerly the pet of Kate Bishop Hawkeye. He was

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created by MODOK, the villainous leader of the AIM
organization, as part of a line of engineered land

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sharks. Adopted rather than weaponized, Jeff
demonstrated heightened intelligence,

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loyalty, and adaptability that placed him firmly
among Earth's heroic animals. You can learn more

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about his creator MODOK in his duel against Hector
Hammond. So that's the pet Avengers lineup for

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this duel. Again, it's Lockjaw, the Inhuman Dog,
Lockheed, the Purple Pet Dragon, Hairball, the

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Bouncing Cat, Throg, the Frog of Thunder, Zabu,
the Saber Tooth Tiger, Cosmo, the Space Dog, and

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Jeff the Land Shark. Initially, I was thinking
about going with Chewie, aka Goose, in the movies.

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He is a flurkin who you may remember from the
Captain Marvel movies, but I ended up replacing

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him with Hairball, not only because Hairball was a
prominent member of the pet Avengers, but also

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because I feel like between Jeff the Land Shark and
like Zabu, I don't think Goose really brought too

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much more to the table. Yeah, initially, I was
going to include Gleek, the Wonder Twins monkey,

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who we've actually put in a duel against Hit
Monkey, but I decided to go with Flexi instead

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because I thought he was a better representative
for Prody the Second, one of the early members of

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the Legion since they're both shapeshifters.
Yeah, and Hairball was a better pairing with

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what's it, the Flash Turtle. Right. So really, the
pairings are Krypto and Throg, Ace with Zabu,

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Jumper with Lockjaw, What's It with Hairball,
Badge the Green Lantern with Cosmo the Space Dog,

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Toppo with Jeff the Land Shark, and Flexi with
Lockheed. And we do these pairings in order to

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ensure general fairness between the rosters and
the overall matchup. These collide in Heroes

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00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:21,660
Clash. One podcast network rises above the rest.
Prepare yourself for the ultimate showdowns in

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00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:27,940
comic books, video games, movies, and anime. The
Dynamite Podcast Network presents Console

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00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:33,940
Combat, where video game legends brawl every
Monday. Dynamic Duel, where comic book titans

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00:25:33,940 --> 00:25:40,460
smash every Tuesday. Max Destruction, where TV
and action heroes battle every Wednesday. And

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00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:46,660
Sendro World, where anime champions clash every
Thursday. Join us as we speculate on the matches

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00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:51,200
and armed with the power of mathematical
simulations, discover who will emerge

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victorious. Visit dynamicpodcast.com where we
settle the debate and settle the score. But now

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that we've got their histories and the rosters out
of the way, let's speculate on how one of the

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thousands of simulated matches will go. The
winning team is determined by simulations, not

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the speculation, but it's fun to imagine how the
fight could play out. A.J. and N.K., what are the

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rules of our speculations? Well, I should say
there are no rules, other than the teams have no

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prior knowledge of the other going into the fight.
All they are aware of starting out is that the other

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side is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For
the speculation, the groups will begin

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approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescript
environment that will have no bearing on the match

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itself, as no environmental statistics are
considered in my simulations. The teams must earn

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victory on their own merit. Alright, then let's
get into it. The Legion of Super Pets and the Pet

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Avengers meet on the battlefield. Who goes first?
I'll say that what's it starts off since he's the

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resident speedster. And he's going to begin by
running circles around the pet Avengers,

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creating this whirlwind tornado that hampers the
pet Avengers vision and also even lifts some of the

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lighter ones like hairball into the air. And with
the pet Avengers hampered by this tornado, Jumper

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is going to spring into action, just pinballing
between each one, knocking them all to the ground

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with their super hard kicks. You mean Jumper jumps
right into Frog Yulnir, which is the name of Frog's

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enchanted hammer, and Jumper gets knocked the
fuck back because while the pet Avengers were

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trapped in what's its tornado, Frog spun his
hammer in the opposite direction to create a

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counter whirlwind. So with the wind dissipated,
Cosmo sees what's it just running around and Cosmo

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telekinetically flips the turtle onto his shell.
So what's it's not going to be running anywhere for

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a while on his back? Alright, that's a good one. I'm
going to say Badge is going to fly into the air and

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he's going to create this huge bazooka that looks
like a hollowed out tree trunk. And he's like, suck

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on these nuts! And he starts launching softball
sized acorns at the pet Avengers. Well, that's

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going to cause the pet Avengers to scatter and
Lockjaw is going to teleport behind Badge and just

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snatch him out of the air in his jaws. And he's going
to land onto the ground in the middle of the Legion

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of Superpets with this massive thud, because
Lockjaw's a huge dog, and Lockjaw shakes Badge

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like a chew toy, snapping Badge's neck. I mean,
Badge would be able to escape by constructing like

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a giant branch that pries Lockjaw's mouth open.
And then Ace, from his utility collar, he's going

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to toss a tear gas pellet down Lockjaw's throat
poisoning him. Except that Lockjaw would just

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teleport out of the way, so the tear gas misses and
Ace just tear gassed his own teammate, Krypto.

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Meanwhile, Lockheed is going to swoop over to
Flexi, the parrot, and Lockheed shoots a fireball

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from his mouth that just melts Flexi into a puddle.
I'm going to say Flexi stretches out of the way to

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dodge that fireball, because Toppo saw Lockheed
swooping in and blinded him with a squirt of ink

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into his dragon eyes. So not only does the fireball
miss, it hits hairball instead, and Lockheed

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crashes right into Zabu. Okay, Zabu would get
knocked over, yeah, but hairball would be fine,

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like the fireball would just bounce off of his
kinetic field. And that's when hairball bounces

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into action. He's going to jump over to Ace, he's
going to bounce off of him and crash into Badge, and

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then bounce off of him. And now he has all this
kinetic energy stored up in the form of these neon

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colored balls surrounding him, and hairball just
unloads that kinetic energy like a volley of

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cherry bomb explosives over at Krypto, who just
gets bombarded from all sides. Hairball is a cool

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character. I forgot that he existed. To me, he's
even probably more dangerous than Speedball

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because he has claws. Right, he's terrifying.
Yeah. Okay, so Krypto gets bombarded. It would

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knock him around for sure. But I mean, hairball
just pissed him off now. And so he's going to growl

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at hairball and then just freeze him with his
freeze breath, putting him on ice. And then Flexi

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flies over to Jeff the Land Shark, dive bombing him
and shape shifting into a cannonball that

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straight up knocks Jeff out. Jeff would just open
his mouth and swallow the cannonball. You know,

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like Jeff has eaten the Infinity Gauntlet before.
I'm pretty sure he can handle a cannonball and he's

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just going to lick his lips and be like, yum. All
right. Shit. Flexi, you know, he's probably

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freaking out in Jeff's stomach, but he's going to
transform into a spiked ball. Just damaging all of

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Jeff's internal organs. Yeah, that would
definitely give Jeff indigestion. So what he's

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going to do, he's going to puke up Flexi into like
this gross puddle, like a puddle with a parrot

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head. And Flexi is like gasping for air now that
he's out of Jeff's stomach. But Jeff is going to

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snatch him off the ground and he's going to
forcibly fashion Flexi into this red cape, kind of

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like Krypto's cape. And then Jeff is going to
strike a pose kind of like Superman. He turns into

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Super Jeff, we'll say. What? And yeah, he does
stuff like this. He puts on costumes and Super Jeff

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then leaps over to Toppo, just chomping down onto
one of Toppo's tentacles. And, you know, Toppo's

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going to flail around, but Jeff is not going to let
go. All right. Well, that's happening. Jumper is

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going to spring toward Lockjaw and just punch the
dog right in the nose repeatedly. Like it's a speed

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bag. And then she's going to finish off her combo by
leaning back on her tail and kicking Lockjaw so

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hard that he literally leaves the planet's orbit.
What? Yeah, her legs are that strong. Okay. Well,

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hopefully her neck is strong because Zabu pounces
on Jumper and he sinks his giant fangs that are like

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10 inches long into her neck, taking her out. Wow.
It's the circle of life. It happens. And meanwhile

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Lockheed is going to thaw out hairball from being
frozen using his flame breath. So hairball is

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free. All right. Well, badge is going to trap Zabu
in a green cage construct and is going to pull out

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his fangs on all of his teeth with a pair of pliers
that he created. So now Zabu is just all gums. And

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what's it? You know, he's flipped back over on a
shell. He's back on his feet. He's going to slam

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into Jeff, the Land Shark at full speed like a
missile, which he was able to do because both Topo

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and Flexi were choking Jeff out because Jeff was
dumb enough to use Flexi as a cape. And you know,

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Topo has other tentacles. Jeff's out. You can't,
you can't hurt Jeff the Land Shark, man. It's Jeff.

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Jeff had it coming. Well, everyone's going to be
pissed about this. They're going to be shocked

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that Jeff was hurt because Jeff is like the cutest
thing ever. Throg's not going to have it. So he

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leaps into the air and brings his hammer down onto
What's It just straight up stomping a turdy to mush

337
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like Super Mario. I mean, What's It has a really
durable shell, but it's probably not strong

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enough to stop Frog Mjolnir or whatever you call
it. Frog Mjolnir. Whatever. Meanwhile, Ace and

339
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Zabu are scoring off. And when this toothless Zabu
lunges, Ace is just going to front flip over him and

340
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plant a small taser disk on the scruff of his neck,
which he then triggers. And it's going to fry

341
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Zabu's nervous system. So he's out. A front flip.
You think Ace is like a badass or something? Hell

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yeah, I do. He's not that cool. He's lucky that Zabu
didn't have fangs anymore, is what I'll say. Well,

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that's happening. Cosmo is going to take control
of Flexi's mind using his telepathy and he's going

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to make Flexi transform into the Kono shame, like
that Kono collar that dogs get after the vet. Yeah.

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And Cosmo is going to telekinetically place that
over Ace. And then he's going to force Flexi to

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tighten the collar, which just puts Ace to sleep.
The big sleep. Alright. Meanwhile, Badge has

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trapped Hairball inside of a box with a knockout
gas capsule, which he then launches into space. So

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Hairball's out. So you just turned Hairball into
Schrodinger's cat. That means he is neither alive

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nor unalive. Yeah, good job. We don't know whether
he's alive or dead. We do know though he is

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definitely out of the match. Alright. While
that's happening, Lakja, he teleports back to the

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battlefield after getting kicked into space by
Jumper. And he is going to drop right down onto

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Toppo and just squish him into Octopus soup. I
mean, Lakja is like such a fat sack of crap with so

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many folds of skin on his body. I'm sure Toppo can
find a place to squeeze into at the last second,

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which he does. And he's going to camouflage
himself so that no one notices him. He's going to

355
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sneak away undetected. Well, I mean, Lockheed
would be able to sense Toppo with his empathic

356
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senses. So Lockheed flies over to Toppo, despite
being camouflaged and just turns him into

357
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Kalimari with his flame breath. Yeah, but I mean
Toppo's pretty agile. So sure, one of his

358
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tentacles gets singed, but then Toppo's just
going to grab Lockheed's neck with his other

359
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:28,820
tentacles, choking off the flame before swinging
onto his face like a face hugger and biting

360
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Lockheed's jugular with his octopus beak. So
Lockheed's out. That's horrifying. Throg sees

361
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:43,040
that and he shoots a blast of lightning at Toppo and
that fries Toppo, turning him into delicious

362
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:50,240
Kalimari. Are you hungry or something? I could go
for some takeout. You want some frog legs? Because

363
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:55,580
while Throg is distracted taking out Toppo,
Krypto Heat Visions Throg right in half at the

364
00:35:55,580 --> 00:36:03,200
waist. So there you go. I do not love frog legs. So
no, thank you. Too bad you've been served. Okay,

365
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:09,640
then Lockjaw is going to teleport Krypto into
space to some planet that has a red sun. And then

366
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:14,780
Lockjaw is going to teleport back into the fight.
So Krypto's out. Wait, how would Lockjaw even know

367
00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:20,840
to do that? Like, I say he teleported him to a planet
with a yellow sun. I mean, something like three

368
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:28,100
fourths of all suns in the universe are red, like
red dwarfs. So it was just an odds game. Lockjaw had

369
00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:33,680
a three fourths chance to get Krypto in front of a
red sun. That sounds like made up bullshit. No,

370
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:38,540
that's true. It's true. They far outnumber the
amount of yellow suns in the universe. Well,

371
00:36:38,540 --> 00:36:45,620
that's lame. I'm going to say that Badge is going to
then construct a muzzle over Lockjaw once he

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00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:51,220
returns and then inject him right away with a
syringe construct. And he's also going to create a

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00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:59,820
boombox that plays Sarah McLaughlin's song in the
arms of the angels as Lockjaw passes out. What the

374
00:36:59,820 --> 00:37:06,140
fuck? See, this is why last year we went with a dog
show instead of a dog fight. It's just way too sad

375
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:12,700
for pets to be taking each other out like this.
Borderline Evil. Cosmo, who's still in control of

376
00:37:12,700 --> 00:37:18,720
Flexi, the parrot, Cosmo's going to force him to
shape shift into a sword and he's going to swing it

377
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:23,860
at Badge. The Badge is going to block it with a
shield construct and then form a sword of his own.

378
00:37:23,860 --> 00:37:30,060
Alright, so yeah, Cosmo and Badge are going to
sword fight with their sword constructs, but you

379
00:37:30,060 --> 00:37:36,800
forget that Cosmo's sword construct is Flexi, so
when Badge cleaves through Cosmo's sword, he just

380
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:45,030
took out Flexi the parrot. Well, okay, so it's just
Badge and Cosmo now then. So, alright, suddenly

381
00:37:45,030 --> 00:37:51,880
this tall green forest is going to appear around
Cosmo and from the trees he suddenly sees

382
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:57,760
thousands of green eyes appear before this
massive swarm of squirrel construct creatures

383
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:04,860
attack Cosmo simultaneously. Just overwhelming
his telekinesis and defeating Cosmo the same way

384
00:38:04,860 --> 00:38:11,520
that Squirrel Girl defeated Dr. Doom, Galactus,
and many other Marvel characters more powerful

385
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:17,240
than Cosmo. First of all, Squirrel Girl did not
defeat Galactus, really, and it certainly wasn't

386
00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:22,680
through an ambush of squirrels like how she
defeated Dr. Doom. Second of all, I don't know how

387
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:28,440
these squirrels are going to get past Cosmo's
force field, and third of all, Badge thinks that's

388
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:33,240
what happened, but in reality it was just a
telepathic illusion that Cosmo put into his

389
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:40,400
squirrel brain using her telepathy. In
actuality, Badge is just an entrant and then Cosmo

390
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:46,260
shuts his mind down. So, match over. Ooh, sorry,
you see Badge put on armor when he was sword

391
00:38:46,260 --> 00:38:51,280
fighting and he was wearing a helmet and per Marvel
rules, you can't telepathically get through a

392
00:38:51,280 --> 00:39:00,100
helmet. No, he just thought that he had a helmet on
his head because it was an illusion. So dumb. We can

393
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:07,140
go ahead and leave the match there. Either the
Legion of Superpets wins by ambushing Cosmo with a

394
00:39:07,140 --> 00:39:13,640
Legion of Green Construct Squirrels, or the Pet
Avengers wins because all of that was an illusion

395
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:19,540
and Badge gets his mind shut down. Let's go ahead
and input all the characters and team stats, run

396
00:39:19,540 --> 00:39:32,000
the simulations, and come back with a winner.
AG9K, hit it. Okay, this is a fun match. I'm really

397
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:38,340
glad we got a chance to do this as our last holiday
pet duel. I like to both of these lineups a lot.

398
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:44,900
Same, and they came out fairly comparable to each
other in terms of their stats. When you look at the

399
00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:52,300
overall team stats, the greatest advantage that
DC had over Marvel was durability. A lot of the DC

400
00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:58,020
characters like Krypto and Jumper and Green
Lantern and even Flexi the Parrot had a lot more

401
00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:04,400
durability over the Pet Avengers and they were
also faster. Like Krypto, What's It, Green

402
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:10,260
Lantern, they all had really high speed stats
compared to the Pet Avengers. But the Pet Avengers

403
00:40:10,260 --> 00:40:18,840
had the edge in intelligence because Throg has a
human mind and Cosmo the Space Dog is also hyper

404
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:24,340
intelligent and the Pet Avengers also had an
advantage in perception, largely because,

405
00:40:24,340 --> 00:40:29,960
again, Cosmo is telepathic and no one on the Legion
of Superpets is telepathic. That's right. We said

406
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:35,160
they were fairly comparable when it came to
fighting skill and invasiveness. The most

407
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:41,380
powerful character overall was by far Badge the
Green Lantern. I'm so sick of these damn Green

408
00:40:41,380 --> 00:40:50,060
Lanterns. Yeah, Badge totally stomped. He won
86.4% of his matches, which is really high. I mean,

409
00:40:50,060 --> 00:40:57,340
your most powerful member Cosmo only won 77.1.
Yeah, Throg was right up there with Cosmo as well,

410
00:40:57,340 --> 00:41:05,760
winning 74.5% of all his matches. The weakest pet
out of both sides was Jeff the Land Shark. Yeah, but

411
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:13,900
if we had a stat for a cute factor, he'd win that for
sure. Over Badge? I think not. Yes, over Badge. A

412
00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:20,460
squirrel or a shark? No way a shark is cuter. This
shark is. Does Badge put on silly little cute

413
00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:28,640
costumes all the time? Does Badge have dead shark
eyes? Eh, Jeff's eyes are anything but dead.

414
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:33,580
They're not like a doll's eyes. But overall,
considering all of these stats, Joseph, who do you

415
00:41:33,580 --> 00:41:38,620
think came out on top in this team? The pet
Avengers. Don't even ask me. Just assume that I'm

416
00:41:38,620 --> 00:41:42,980
going to go with the Marvel side because Marvel
side will always be better. Even though our

417
00:41:42,980 --> 00:41:50,320
Instagram followers don't think so because in our
poll for this matchup, 66% of them sided with the

418
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:56,080
Legion of Super Pets. As they should, as they
should, if they were smart, which they are. Now

419
00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:04,520
they're dumb as shit, man. Wow, okay. All of you
heard it. Not all of them, just the ones that voted

420
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:10,320
for DC, of course. I don't know if that makes it any
better, but let's find out who won. AJ9K, the

421
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:18,480
results, please. Here you are, sir. The winner in
the Team Duel matchup between the Legion of Super

422
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:28,840
Pets and the pet Avengers is... The Legion of Super
Pets. Whatever. And it was a horrible Christmas.

423
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:38,800
It was so close. So, so close. They won 50.2% of
their matches compared to the pet Avengers who won

424
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:45,580
49.8%. That's insanely close. That's the
difference of four matches out of a thousand.

425
00:42:45,580 --> 00:42:51,160
Yeah, it seems like a majority of these Team Duel's
that we do are all really close. Like, I think a

426
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:55,820
majority of them are within five percentage
points of each other. And I think it's because we

427
00:42:55,820 --> 00:43:02,540
take care to try and make sure that the rosters are
balanced. And when the stats average out in all of

428
00:43:02,540 --> 00:43:07,960
the matches, it just ends up being really close.
This is the closest Team Duel results that we've

429
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:13,260
had in a long time. We haven't had one this close
since Guardians of the Galaxy vs Doom Patrol.

430
00:43:13,260 --> 00:43:18,680
Interesting. I gotta say, I'm pretty sad this
Christmas season now that the pet Avengers lost.

431
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:24,440
I'm especially sad for Jeff. He deserved better. I
don't get Jeff. I know nothing about Jeff. I've

432
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:29,580
never seen Jeff in a comic except for the recent
crossover where he appeared with Krypto. Forget

433
00:43:29,580 --> 00:43:35,480
Jeff. He's lame. Maybe go read a Jeff the Landshark
comic book and then come back and tell me that you

434
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:41,840
don't love him. Because that's impossible. I'm
good, bro. That sounds like kid shit for Marvel

435
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:48,640
fans. Or, you know, just people that don't have a
Grinch heart like you. Piece of shit. Why don't you

436
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:52,920
go read a Jeff the Landshark comic and have your
heart grow three sizes? I think that would be

437
00:43:52,920 --> 00:44:02,680
fatal, honestly. But that does it for this Team
Duel. AJ9K help close this out. Thanks for

438
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:08,000
listening to Dynamic Duel. Visit the show's
website at dynamicduel.com and follow us on

439
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:12,820
Instagram at Dynamic Duel Podcast. Don't forget
to listen to the other shows in the Dynamite

440
00:44:12,820 --> 00:44:20,020
Podcast Network, including Max Destruction,
Senjo World, and Console Combat. Our next episode

441
00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:26,720
is going to be our 10th annual Brothers Awards
episode where we countdown the best that Marvel

442
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:32,060
and DC had to offer in the year 2025. Always look
forward to those episodes. We hope you guys enjoy

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00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:36,640
them too. Definitely tune in next week and give it a
listen. You can't believe it's already the end of

444
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:41,740
the year. That's wild. This was a fast year. Yeah.
But that does it for this episode, guys. We want to

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00:44:41,740 --> 00:44:46,200
give a big thanks to our executive producers, John
Straussky, Zachary Hepburn, Nathaniel Wagner,

446
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,100
Levi Aten, Austin Wieselowski, and Nathaniel
Wagner. AJ Dunkerly, Nick Obanto, Scott Camacho,

447
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:55,220
Gil Camacho, Adam Spees, Dean Molesky, Devin
Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and Paul Graves for

448
00:44:55,220 --> 00:45:00,680
helping make this podcast possible. We'll talk to
you guys next week. Up, up and away, true

449
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:21,760
believers. I've breathed out some flames. I wish
you the best. These beasts and their bite. Merry

450
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,500
Christmas to all and to all a good fight.