Supergirl (1984) Review

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This is a DynaMic Network Podcast. Hi and welcome
to the Dynamic Duel Podcast, a Rotten

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Tomatoes-approved show that reviews superhero
films and series through the lens of the DC and

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Marvel fandoms. I'm Joseph. And I'm his twin
brother Jonathan. And in this episode, we are

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going to review the 1984 film Supergirl. It's a
terrible movie, which is one of the reasons why I

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never wanted to review it back when we were doing
this show weekly. Yeah, but we figured that this

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month was a good time as any to review the Helen
Slater starring film because in a few months we're

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going to get the new Supergirl film starring
Millie Alcock. And we figured this would be a good

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contrast to compare that with this film. And I got
to say, if the Supergirl film that comes out in June

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is anything like this movie that we're reviewing
today, I think that you should switch sides to

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Marvel because DC would be in a really sucky state.
I mean, once you get this kind of Supergirl, it's

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only uphill from there, you know? Interestingly
enough, Supergirl will be the second theatrical

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film in James Gunn's DCU. And Supergirl was the
second character to get their own starring film in

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the Donnerverse, as it were. Was the Donnerverse
really a thing? I mean, I know that the Supergirl

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film has the same continuity as the Christopher
Reeve film, but I don't know if it's ever been

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referred to as the Donnerverse. No, it hasn't. But
Supergirl was the first attempt at creating a

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larger, like, extended cinematic universe.
That's interesting. I feel like a lot of people

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don't remember that. No, I mean, the studio even
forgot it. Supergirl did so poorly. The character

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wasn't even referenced in the fourth Superman
movie. Well, we hope you guys look forward to our

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review. Whether you've seen it or not, this is
going to be a non-spoiler review regardless. It's

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going to be a little bit different than the reviews
that we did during our weekly show. And if you

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listen to our last episode, when we reviewed
Wonder Man, you'll know what the new format is. We

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did get some feedback regarding our new
non-spoiler approach. But back when we were doing

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the weekly show, we heard from people who would say
that they wouldn't listen to reviews for projects

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that they haven't seen because we would discuss
spoilers. And then we also heard from people who

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said that they do listen to our spoiler reviews,
even if they haven't seen the project, which is

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something that we didn't really want either. And
there were also people who were saying that they

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would listen to our spoiler reviews if they have
seen the project, but they would skip the plot

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breakdown. So they're missing half of our entire
discussion. And now we have feedback from people

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saying that they want the plot breakdown again. So
really, there's as many preferences for how we do

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these reviews as there are people who listen. The
only thing that Jonathan and I can do is the best

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that we can, considering that we want anyone to
listen to our reviews and get enjoyment out of

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them, whether or not they've seen the project. I
think these non-spoiler reviews are the best path

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forward for the show. And hopefully we inject
enough of that like comic book fan and perspective

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to satisfy the fan base as well. Although I will say
I do regret not watching Wonder Man Season One. I

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should have. Yeah, you didn't contribute much to
that last review. So I think going forward, we're

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going to try even harder to make sure that we both
watch what we're reviewing. Right. Did you watch

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Supergirl? I did. Yes. I'm sorry. Thank you. With
that out of the way, we have a special message from

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our former artificially intelligent dual
simulator, AJ9K. So listen up. Why hello there. Be

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sure to tune into the other shows in the Dynamite
Podcast Network, including the Console Combat

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Podcast, where hosts John and Dean simulate
battles between popular video game characters.

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Over on the Max Destruction Podcast, hosts Scotty
and Gilly, pits your favorite action heroes from

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film and television against each other. And on the
Senjo World Podcast, host Zachary Hepburn

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speculates on fights between fan favorite anime
and manga characters. Visit

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dynamicpodcasts.com or click the link in our show
notes to listen to all the shows in the DynaMic

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Podcast Network. Pip Pip Cheerio. Thanks, AJ9K.
As I mentioned earlier, our last episode, we did a

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review of Wonder Man Season 1, during which we
discussed a lot of the characters in that show that

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appeared in the comic books and then asked you guys
who you thought would make a good match up for some

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of those characters. The best response we got on
our Discord and join our Discord guys, the link is

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in our show notes. But people wanted to see who
would win in a fight between the Grim Reaper, aka

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Eric Williams, who's the brother of Wonder Man,
who ends up turning into a bad guy. They wanted to

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see who'd win between Grim Reaper and the
Phantasm, who is a Batman villain most

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prominently featured in the Mask of the Phantasm,
but also appeared in the comic books. We did run the

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stats on that matchup using our dual simulator.
AJ9K, the results, please. Here you are, sir. The

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winner between Phantasm and Grim Reaper is...
Grim Reaper. Out of 1000 simulated matches, Grim

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Reaper beats Phantasm, 62.8% at the time, or 628
out of the 1000 matches, whereas Phantasm only won

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37.2% at the time. Which kind of sucks, because
Phantasm is a pretty badass character. Mask of the

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Phantasm is still to this day one of the best Batman
movies out there, and that film, of course,

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introduced Phantasm. I mean, the characters are
similar thematically, but I did go with the Black

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Magic version of Grim Reaper, not the
technological version. So this is the version of

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Eric Williams, who died and then was resurrected
and given the powers of Necromancy with an

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enchanted scythe that could not only cut through
anything, but could also shoot magic energy and

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absorb the energy of others. Wait, so you're
telling me that you cheated? You just told me that.

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I'm just telling you I'm going with the best
version of the character, whereas there is no good

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version of any DC character ever. So there you go. I
guess Andrea Boumont is the best version of the

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Phantasm. Still looks cooler than the Grim
Reaper, though. Hey, it's hard to beat Phantasm's

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look, for sure. But now let's give a quick
breakdown of the comic book histories of

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characters that appear in Supergirl in a segment
called Who's Who? Who's Who? So there aren't a lot

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of major characters in the Supergirl movie that
also appeared in the comics. Most of the

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characters that have comic book backstories are
really just cameos, more or less. Of course,

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Supergirl appears in the comic book. We did a
complete breakdown of her history in our

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Supergirl versus Captain Marvel dual episode
from years back. But this film particularly

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focuses on her pre-crisis on Infinite Earths,
history, where Cara Zorell was born in Argo City, a

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surviving fragment of Krypton that drifted
through space after the planet's destruction.

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Raised by her parents, Zorell and Ellura, Cara
lived a happy childhood until a meteor shower

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pierced Argo's protective lead shielding,
exposing the citizens to deadly radiation. To

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save their daughter, Cara's parents sent her to
Earth, where she was meant to be raised by her

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cousin, Superman. Upon arriving, Cara displayed
the same powers as Kal-El under Earth's yellow

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sun. To protect her secret identity, Superman
kept her existence hidden while training her as a

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hero. Cara adopted the secret identity of orphan
Linda Lee at the mid-vale orphanage, secretly

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performing heroic deeds while learning to
control her abilities. Eventually revealed to

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the world as Supergirl, Cara became a respected
hero, joined the Legion of Superheroes and fought

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alongside Earth's greatest champions until she
sacrificed her life battling the anti-monitor

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during the Crisis on Infinite Earths event. She
has the same powers as Superman, which includes

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super strength, speed and durability, enhanced
senses, heat vision, freeze breath and of course,

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flight. She also shares her cousin's
vulnerability to Kryptonite and magic. Another

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prominent Superman character from the comics
that appears in Supergirl is Jimmy Olsen. We never

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did a duel with him, probably because he doesn't
typically have superpowers. Many people know him

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as the young photojournalist at the Daily Planet,
known for his optimism and his knack for getting

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into trouble alongside Lois Lane. In the comics,
he often finds himself at the center of strange

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adventures, frequently relying on Superman to
bail him out. And over the years, he's even gained

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temporary powers and transformations, though he
remains best known as Superman's best pal. Lucy

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Lane is also in this film. She's the younger sister
of Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane. In the comics,

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she was introduced as a flight attendant and
frequently appeared as Jimmy Olsen's on again,

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off again girlfriend. Finally, Fred Danvers, he
in the comics is a kindly midfail engineer who

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along with his wife, Edna, adopts Kara from
midfail orphanage, giving Supergirl a human

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family and helping her establish her civilian
identity as Linda Lee, later Linda Lee Danvers.

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Fred doesn't adopt Kara in this film. He's instead
adapted as her school principal. And those are all

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of the comic book characters in this movie. I think
if we were to do a duel with one of them, it would be

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Jimmy Olsen against Rick Jones. Yeah, Rick Jones
or Betty Brant or Robbie Robertson. I think one of

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those guys would work. Let us know in the discord
who you think would be a good duel for Jimmy Olsen.

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And in our next episode, we'll run the stats and
give you guys the results of that match. What about

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Zoltar? Was Zoltar in the comic books? He was not.
That doesn't surprise me. What was the name of the

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main witch lady in this movie played by Faye
Dunaway? Salinas. I'm guessing she was in the

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comic books either. No, she wasn't. And neither
was Ethan, if you were wondering. I wasn't. OK. But

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now let's move on to the main event of this episode,
where we review 1984's DC film Supergirl. OK,

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Supergirl. The film was released in 1984. It stars
Helen Slater as the titular character Faye

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Dunaway as the antagonist witch Salina and Peter
O'Toole as Supergirl's early life mentor,

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Zoltar. The film was directed by Genois Schwartz.
I think is how you pronounce it. He's French. He

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also directed Jaws 2 and Santa Claus, the movie,
which was also a cell kind production. The cell

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kinds produced the first three Superman films.
And this film was the last Superman related movie

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that they would produce because it is so terribly
they sold the film rights. Regarding the premise

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of the film, when the Omega Hedron, the main power
source for Argo City, is lost on Earth, Kara Zor-El

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travels to her cousin's Superman's adopted home
planet to retrieve it and save Krypton's last

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surviving city. Empowered by Earth's yellow sun,
Kara adopts the mantle of Supergirl while

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blending into human society as Linda Lee, a
student at the Midvale School for Girls. But the

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Omega Hedron falls into the hands of Salina, a
power hungry witch who uses its energy to fuel her

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dark magic and bend the world to her will,
beginning with a handsome landscaper named

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Ethan. As Salina's power grows and Ethan finds
himself drawn instead to Supergirl, Kara must

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reclaim the Omega Hedron before the witch's
ambitions spiral out of control. Now, this movie

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is not the most faithful adaptation to the comics,
not that it necessarily needed to be. And the

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Christopher Reeve films helped redefine the
character of Superman for the general public, who

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largely knew of Superman from cartoons and his
radio show. The Supergirl was comparatively much

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more of a blank slate. As I said earlier, very few of
the film's primary characters are from the

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Supergirl comics. Characters like Xaltar, Ethan
and Salina are original to the film, along with its

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MacGuffin, the Omega Hedron. The Supergirl film
was the first attempt at a shared cinematic

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universe, with Supergirl taking place in the same
universe as Christopher Reeve's Superman.

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Though the filmmakers did the absolute minimum to
bridge the films. Like there's a poster of

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Christopher Reeve's Supergirl. Supergirl was
originally supposed to be Superman 4 with

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Brainiac as both the villain and the initial
mentor to Supergirl instead of Zaltar. And

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Supergirl was going to be Superman's love
interest. They were going to make her not be his

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cousin. They decided to go a more comic accurate
route though. Well, Supergirl was acting like she

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was in love with Superman when she saw that poster.
It was a little bit creepy. I mean, who doesn't love

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Superman though? Am I right? Are you going to rub a
poster of him with your fingertips? You say that

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like I haven't. Now, the film, of course, ended up
being even less well received than Superman 3,

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which was critically panned. This caused the
producers to give up on the franchise and sell the

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film rights. And while the Superman films made
audiences believe that a man could fly, they had a

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really hard time suspending disbelief for a
Supergirl's movie, which traded Superman's more

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sci-fi, somewhat more sincere tone for fantasy
sorcery, and more of the same cappy humor the

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audiences hated about Superman 3. Not only did
Supergirl not have the action of the first two

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films, but its special effects paled by
comparison and its story lacked really any kind of

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urgency. It's a two hour long slog that is widely
regarded, rightfully so, as one of the worst

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superhero films ever made. I don't know if I
necessarily agree with that. It's really bad, but

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I also have daughters. And I know the fairy tale and
romance aspects of the film had them more

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interested than the Americana and city bustling
of the Superman films. I'll say this. I went into

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the film knowing that it was going to be bad,
largely due to its reputation. I don't have much

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memory of it, of watching it as a child. To that end,
I don't know if it's because my expectations were

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lowered, but I do appreciate the somewhat sincere
effort that they put into the film. And there were

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definitely some moments that stood out to me as
being very comic booky and very in keeping with

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what I would expect from a Supergirl film that was
produced in this time period. As I was watching it

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for this review, I was actually just thinking,
man, this could have been an amethyst film. Like,

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it probably would have been better if it was. Oh, I
could see that, considering that a lot of the plot

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had to do with magic, given that the main
antagonist was Sorceress. I actually liked the

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fact that they included a mysticism element to
this. I think it helps separate this Supergirl

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franchise from the more sci-fi Superman side of
things. Right, right, exactly. This movie feels

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like a film that never quite figured out what it
wanted to be. It's part superhero movie, part

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fairy tale romance, part campy comedy, and those
tones rarely work together. I can't think of an

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example of where it does. Yeah, if you're going to
do fantasy, you kind of have to ditch the camp,

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right? Otherwise, you get a movie like Legend. And
actually, there were some moments of the

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Supergirl film that reminded me of Legend,
particularly the final battle. Oh, I could see

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that. Imagine if Lord of the Rings was campy. That
would have been terrible. Now, ultimately, I

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think the worst aspects of Supergirl are its story
and pacing. There are some really bizarre story

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choices that start really early in the film that
just leave me scratching my head. There were

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definitely multiple moments in regards to pacing
and story structure, where I literally said out

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loud, what the fuck is going on? I remember just
wondering what I was watching, like, what, why

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would they introduce the villain in this way with
absolutely no context? A lot of the characters

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aren't provided any sort of backstory or
motivation. They just exist as two dimensional

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beings, and we just have to accept that. No,
Selena's motivation in this film is the absolute

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weakest motivation for a villain in any comic book
movie, hands down. And the fact that Selena and

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Supergirl don't even meet until over an hour and 20
minutes into the runtime is laughable and

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embarrassing. For most of the movie, I was bored as
hell. The pacing was just so all over the place.

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What really redeemed the film in even a minor way
was the latter half of the story, which really went

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places that I was not expecting and actually
started to become more of a sci-fi, fantasy

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mash-up that I found infinitely more interesting
than the earth setting in the former half. There's

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so much that I would have cut from this film. Like, I
would have cut the alter ego of Linda Lee out

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completely. Now, I understand that that's part of
the character's comic backstory, but I also think

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she doesn't really need that in the same way that
Clark Kent does, because she wasn't raised on

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earth. Yeah, that's true. I mean, if there's one
good thing I could say about the film is that the

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performances were earnest, like, some of them
were campy, but I actually think the top build

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actors of Helen Slater, Faye Dunnaway, and Peter
O'Toole gave their best theatrical efforts.

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Like, on stage, even if a line is crap, you have to
make it feel authentic. And say for some, like,

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wooden line deliveries from Helen Slater, I was
mostly sold on the main cast. I was surprised that

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Peter O'Toole was in this movie. Like, I had seen
this movie before, but it was back when I was a

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child. So I barely remembered anything about it,
and I definitely didn't recognize as a kid these

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big name actors like Mia Farrow and Faye Dunnaway,
who I think were actually tricked into starring in

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this film. I agree. Because it is quite the
prestige cast, and they were probably like sold on

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the idea of starring in a big franchise and being
like Gene Hackman in the first Superman film. But

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they probably didn't read the script before
signing on is my guess, because I don't believe

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that they actually would have participated in
this if they had. Well, Peter O'Toole was like the

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Marlon Brando of the first Superman movie for
sure. Just an Oscar caliber actor in this very,

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very sci-fi role, although Marlon Brando was way
better in the Superman movie than Peter O'Toole

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was here. For sure. For sure. Actually, I believe
O'Toole was nominated for a Razzie Award for this

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performance. Damn. I didn't know that. Poor guy. I
mean, the dialogue was cheesy as hell. I can't

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imagine anyone less than the most talented actors
out there delivering some of these lines. Faye

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Dunaway, I think, just had some really poor
choices around the 80s in her career, between like

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this and mommy dearest. She went full camp. And to
her credit, she's probably one of the few that can

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go full camp and still maintain some level of
respectability. Oh, I agree. I actually thought

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it was the comedic supporting characters like
Nigel, Bianca, Lucy, like those two creeps that

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Supergirl first encounters when she lands on
Earth, that really brought the film down acting

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wise, performance wise. Yeah. I would say while
this film lacks the urgency and spectacle and

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sincerity that made the first two Superman films
special, there's still this earnest charm to

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Helen Slater's performance that keeps it from
being completely unwatchable. I think she's kind

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of the saving grace. And I think the filmmakers
kind of lucked into that in a way. I thought she was

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fantastic, honestly. I thought she embodied the
role from a looks perspective and from a character

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perspective. I will say she's better as a Burnett.
She seemed like she was naturally a Burnett. The

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blonde wig really threw me off every time they
would put that on her for when she was Supergirl. I

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don't know. She was blonde in the Supergirl TV
series. Oh, really? Yeah. She made a cameo there.

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Oh, cool. Well, that's great. I mean, that shows
that she was kind of appreciated in this role, even

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though the film wasn't appreciated. I think
people recognize that her sincerity was still

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there. Oh, yeah, 100 percent. Regarding Ethan, I
fucking guess he sold the romance, but a lot of

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people would see Supergirl's romance in this
movie being problematic, considering it wasn't

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really consensual initially. Well, also, she's
supposed to be like 16, 17 years old, maybe. And he

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looks like he's fucking 40. I don't know about that
old, but definitely older. It's not really clear

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as to whether she's going to like a junior college
or a high school. They don't say what grades are

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taught at Midvale School for girls. It's
definitely the high school. I'm going to choose to

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not believe that. I'm going to choose it's a junior
college. I would say the one saving grace of this

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film is its music. It was composed by Jerry
Goldsmith, and I'd argue it's almost as good as

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what John Williams did with Superman. Like,
that's very iconic, very fan fairy, but so is this.

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And I think it deserves to stand side by side with
that. I did like the opening credits. I'll say

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that. Overall, I would say the film trades the
magic of the earlier Superman films for bizarre,

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occult fantasy, problematic romance, and pacing
that's much slower than a speeding bullet. I'm

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giving it one and a half out of five stars a rotten
rating on Rhyne Tomatoes. I think we expected

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that. I agree with that rating though, because I
would put this film somewhere in between Steel

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with Shaquille O'Neal, which is probably just as
poorly produced as this film, although it was made

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a decade later, which means it has no excuses. I
would put this in between that and Fantophor

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Stick. And you know, there's a little bit more
worthwhile in a movie like that than there is in

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Supergirl. Supergirl, I think, is comparable to a
film like Batman and Robin in that it's god-awful,

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but there are like pieces that you can pick out and
say, oh, that's pretty cool. Very few, but yeah,

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they exist. Before we wrap up though, Jonathan, I
know you don't want to discuss spoilers, but are

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there any spoilers you can give us even out of
context ones? Absolutely. In this film, you'll

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see Ethan get knocked out amidst the NFL's
Patriots and Rams. You'll also see Selena Snatch

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Nigel's African Shaft. And finally, you'll see
Zaltar Squirt and Kara's Mouth. I knew you were

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going to say something like that. That was a weird
moment, but yeah, you got to see it to believe it.

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Right. I think that does it for this review guys. H
&NNK, help close this out. All right, Jonathan, I

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don't know what our next episode is going to be, but
is there anything that you're really looking

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forward to that's coming out in the upcoming
months? I'll tell you what I'm not looking forward

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to, or that I'm horribly saddened by the Lanterns
trailer that came out. Really? Oh, no. So there was

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like no project that I was looking forward to more,
but the first trailer, looked so unbelievably, I

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don't want to say different from what I was
expecting, because I knew it was going to take

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place on Earth and be inspired by shows like True
Detective. But just seeing it played out made me

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realize how little Green Lantern cosmic
mythology we're probably going to end up seeing in

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this show. I really like True Detective, but I
think I agree in that Green Lantern belongs in

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space. It's a cosmic saga, so it comes across as
really weird to see it taking place like in a dust

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bowl. It makes it feel very low budget, which is
exactly what it is. It's Dime Store Green Lantern.

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Absolutely. That being said, I would not be
surprised if it's actually really fucking good.

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Maybe it's like the Joker of DC television. Like
they wanted to tell this story, but they just

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figured they would tell it with comic book
characters in order to draw an audience. Maybe

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that's exactly what this is. And in that case,
yeah, maybe it'll be really good. It just feels

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like it won't be Green Lantern is all, especially
considering we had a Green Lantern in the Superman

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movie, and it looks very different. Oh, Guy
Garner? Right. Well, I'm looking forward to

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Daredevil, which debuts in just a couple days
here, actually, in about a week. We probably won't

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get to that review next month. They might have to
wait until the month following in May. So we'll

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have to figure out what to review in April. Look
forward to that. Don't forget to join our Discord.

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It's free. The link is in the show notes, and we will
talk to you guys next time. Up, up and away, true

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believers. The twins recorded this review before
spring break, so they'll discuss their

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excitement for the Spider-Man brand new day
trailer next time. If you were looking for me to say

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something funny, too bad. I'm hungover as shit.